Jesus Christ, Jedi Knight

This year's summit of the Association of South-East Asian Nations (Asean), the event which in previous years brought such theatrical delights as Colin Powell camping it up as the Village People, has produced yet another corker. Despite stiff competition from Japan, this year's show-stopper came from Sergei Lavrov, the Russian foreign minister. Dressed as a Jedi Knight (complete with light-sabre), Mr Lavrov delivered a diatribe against Asean sung to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Personally, I don't see what's so great about being a Jedi Knight. After all, the greatest ever Jedi is a bald, green midget, who swans around the place telling people 'much you have still to learn'. Yoda might be able to master the 'The Force', but until he can master some basic grammar then frankly I shall remain unimpressed.

The pride of the Russian nation - a tit in a cloak