Saturday, July 23, 2005

Science question

How many Volts does it take to make a bull orgasm?


This question has been on my mind for some weeks now, ever since I had a conversation over a few beers with a Denver veterinary student. Disappointingly, she doesn't spend much time with her arm up a cow's backside, so unfortunately there were no amusing anecdotes about lost wristwatches. What she does do, however, is make bulls ejaculate - it seems that good quality cattle semen is highly prized here in Colorado. I'm afraid I don't know the current going rate for a bucket of fresh Charolais spunk, so you'll have to find out on Google or something, assuming your firewall doesn't get offended.


Rather than employing a 'hands on' approach, as far as I can tell a system of scrotal electrodes is used (what I've come to call the Robo-bitch). What I'm keen to know is how many volts are blasted through a bull's gonads? Are some breeds more (re)productive than others? Is a higher current required to get older clients in the mood, or do you just slip them a Viagra and wait for half an hour?


If anyone out there can answer these questions I'd be enormously grateful. (I'm also mildly curious to know why anyone would go to University for four years to become a cattle-fluffer).

3 Comments:

Blogger patrick said...

Will,

all I can say to this barrage of bile, filth and detritus of opinion is I a can't wait for you to go back to UCLA. You must have sooo much spare time.

take it easy

P

4:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ryn: i actually think your blog is pretty interesting!

10:17 pm  
Blogger Captain Fastrousers said...

Patrick

In my defense, I can only say that while the detritus of opinion is my own, I am merely commentating on the barrage of bile and filth that the world throws at me.

1:58 pm  

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