Sesame Street character arrested in LA crack-house bust!

A harmless fluffy goon, and a muppet

Not really. All that's happened is that some bloke is complaining about being arrested for hastling tourists on Hollywood Boulevard whilst dressed as Sesame Street's Elmo. Frankly, I approve of the arrest and make a call for the heaviest possible penalties to be applied to this idiot. Anyone who's idea of gameful employment is dressing up in pink fur and charging extortionate prices to have his photo taken clearly needs to be taken from society. Admittedly, that does sound a bit like Elton John, but I can't lay into him for fear of being reported to the chancellor for homophobia by the loony liberal elements in this place. That's the trouble with being in a social sciences department - how I yearn to be back in the unrestrained misogyny of a science faculty.

On a slightly different note, rest in peace, Rosa Parks. Not many of us will be able to honestly say that we left the world a better place than when we came into it. Certainly not the sort of vacuous twat who makes a living dressed up as a fucking muppet.