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Some Palestinian halfwit has taken out another falafel stand in Tel Aviv. There's nothing very new about that - Palestinian halfwits are always taking out falafel stands in Israeli cities - but this time Hamas have explained that it's all in self-defence.

I can't say I agree with all of the new Palestinian Authority's policies (I'm particularly shaky about their views on male facial hair - there's absolutely no excuse for facial hair in this day and age), but I can see their point in this case. The annexing of deep-fried chickpeas is a clear indication of Isreal's intent to culturally rape the entire Arab culture. Either that or the guy got some hot fat splashed on him (happens a lot at falafel stands, believe me) and decided the only way to vent his ire was to blow himself up in a busy street. We've all had days like that.

I practically lived off falafel for a few months in the Middle East. Man, those little balls of protein are tasty and filling. Unfortunately my next port of call was Turkey where they don't really do vegetables, so I went straight from virtual veganism to an all-kebab diet. My anus was in turmoil for at least three days, and I prayed for death as my colon threatened to explode. Much like a Palestinian, I would imagine.