Tom Cruise is like junk mail

It was the Oscars last night, a chance for a lot of supposedly good looking but otherwise talentless hacks to try and convince the world, but most of all themselves, that they deserve all that wealth and adulation. Sadly, being in LA, there's far too many people who are willing to pander to these preposterous egomaniacs. I hate celebrity culture, and I place people who take an interest in it in the same category as people who respond to junk mail. Our mailboxes are full of adverts that nobody ever reads extolling worthless crap that nobody ever wants. Mostly they end up straight in the bin, but the fact that marketing departments deem it worthwhile to keep on shelling out good money on this glossy bombardment suggests that someone, somewhere, is spending enough to support the junkmail industry. I want that person found and brought to me, dead or alive. Alive preferably, as I would probably derive some satisfaction from dispatching them by cramming their mouth with rolled up copies of 'Albertsons bargain of the month'.

Tom Cruise is the same. If everyone would just ignore the cunt he'd go away.