My reaction to the happy news

I never know how to react when someone tells me she's pregnant. The news of impending motherhood is clearly an emotional event in which the rest of us are supposed to share, but whether happy or disastrous is not always clear, not in the circles I move in at least. Just a few days ago a friend told me she was up the spout, so I had to stammer and stall for few moments, trying to gauge whether this news was more joyful than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide, or more calamitous than an iPod salesman at an Amish gathering.

Fortunately I remembered that she's Mormon. (Actually I tend to think of her as Mormish, since she's neither Jack-Mormon nor orthodox supplicant. For example, she went to Brigham Young, but she doesn't wear the underwear). Anyway, she's sufficiently Mormon that I was able to congratulate her, fairly confident that I would retain my image as a sincere friend. It just goes to show that religious dogma is not entirely without merit, at least in awkward social situations.

Incidentally, Mormons get their name from a revelation their founder, Joseph Smith, received from the angel Moroni. Surely they should be termed 'Morons'?