Thank Christ for inefficiency

One of the things that first struck me as wide-eyed, hopeless foreigner in this land is the degree of administrative cretiny that is a feature of life here. Bureaucratic incompetence isn't just a hobby here, it's the mission statement of the entire government system. Having both lived in France and worked for an insurance company I am no stranger to truly callous and dogmatic administrative procedure, but even I was at times left staggered

For example, it took just two weeks to gain unlimited access to one of the largest supercomputers in the US, but three months to get a social security number (which should take 10 days). The experience was rather Kafka-esque. They had actually lost my application within 30 minutes, but this didn't come to light for three months because my repeated requests for information were met with the rebuttal 'we can't give you that information without a Social Security number'. I don't know who sets the policy on these things, but if I ever meet him I shall congratulate him on the enjoyable idiosyncrasies he has introduced to the system. Either that or I shall smash the useless, lazy cunt in the face.

Just this once, though, I am grateful for the general uselessness of American pen-pushers. It seems my landlords have been a bit naughty and broken some trifling clause of the Santa Monica rental code, and my home is apparently uninhabitable. I've been living there quite comfortably for 9 months, but I don't work for Santa Monica planning department so what would I know? Rather than just fine the landlords or give them a warning or fill their mouths with cement, 'The Council' has decreed that they're going to pull the house down in 19 days. Running the gauntlet of Venice Beach bunny-huggers, vacuous actors and West Hollywood flamers in search of a new home is never appealing, but bearing in mind that in a few days I'll be back to my customary 80 hour weeks the timing is a disastrous blow to the progression of important atmospheric research.

Fortunately though, it seems that it will take the ever impressive Santa Monica City Council six months to arrange the demolition of our property, and I can stay in my apparently squalid third-world slum until I am ready to return to Boulder.