Adding to the nation's intellectual heritage

It's a well known fact in Europe that all Americans are morbidly obese religious fanatics with a sub-normal IQ. This is especially true of Florida. So it's good to see that British expats who move there are adding to the culture by being so indulgently stupid. Despite the fact that medical insurance is rarely out of the news here they appear surprised that they are expected to provide for their own healthcare. Similarly, despite the fact that they are essentially unskilled, they appear to be surprised that US immigration is not welcoming them with open arms. 'Come on in, you're just what we need, America doesn't have nearly enough people who can work in bars...'. I particularly enjoy the irony of British expats commenting on the insularity of American culture, whilst stocking up on those little 'essentials' like PG Tips teabags, McVities Chocolate Digestives and Marmite. (As an aside, if there's one thing that annoys me here it's the assumption that I drink tea. It's a pathetic brew, as insipid as the culture that has so lovingly embraced it.) A recent emigre to the US myself, I feel quite qualified to send the following message to those featured in this article.

You're all stupid cunts. You should be grateful that any country (including your own) will allow such intellectually needy cretins as yourselves into their borders, rather than driving you into the sea with pitchforks and flaming torches.

The article doesn't really address the question of why anybody would want to go to Florida in the first place. It's a dismal place, like Benidorm but with hurricanes instead of paella, whose only useful function is to act as the last earthly resting place for East Coast accountants and their widows.