Though onerous, I would rather flush my stool the old-fashioned way

The toilets in my research institute flush automatically. They have a motion sensor that presumably is supposed to detect when one is leaving the pedestal. In fact, they just trigger a flush at the slightest body movement, which plays havoc with both my peace of mind and my hemorrhoids. Frankly I'd rather return to the days when I retained some control of my own feaces, and to be honest I never found the task of flushing the khazi that onerous.

I'm not sure why we need an automatic flush. This is a scientific institute, so one would presume that the majority of personnel are sufficiently educated to know how to use a toilet. Admittedly, the librarian's level of intelligence is a matter of some concern to me, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the building managers think that we're so intellectually distracted by the atmospheric water-vapour modeling problem that we might forget to flush, and cause an outbreak of cholera amongst the nation's finest meteorological minds? Or maybe they think that by flushing immediately we won't be tempted to waste our working day by examining our stools?

As we say in academia, fossor regens indoles