Describing foreigners

The Rough Guide to England has caused a bit of a fuss by describing the English as ´overweight, alcopop-swilling, sex-and-celebrity obsessed television addicts´. That neatly describes 50% of the population, but they appear to have left out a description for the men. All they needed to do was swap ´alcopop´ with ´beer´ and ´celebrity´ with ´football´ to have more or less nailed the entire God-forsaken race. The book also states that talking to people you don´t know in London is ´seen as tantamount to physical assault´. Seems like pretty useful advice to me, the sooner Johnny Foreigner realises that he/she has no business disturbing the important denizens of the World´s Greatest City without a decent introduction from a third party, the better. Unfortunately, they let things down a bit by listing England as a country* on their website, which hints at sloppy research. They probably based the entire entry on a single night of trying to pick up some local slapper in Equinox, the usual modus operandi of backpackers visiting London. Obviously the authors were unsuccessful, or they wouldn´t be so bitchy now.

On a similar note, I am in Sao Paulo at the moment. Based on what I´ve seen so far, my Rough Guide description of Sao Paulo would be as follows: ´Architecturally, a sort of tropical Sarajevo, it´s most notable feature being a prevalence of concrete buildings with gaping shell-holes in them. The population is an interesting blend of Beverly Hills bourjoisie and Calcutta grit, generally friendly though. Be very wary of rush hour.´ I could be being harsh to Sao Paulo, but then I´ve not yet had the chance to pick up a local in a nightclub to build up a really full picture.

*Note to foreigners and people from Hampshire - England is NOT a proper country, it is just one element of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. The other elements are Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Costa del Sol.