If I cared about such things, I'd be raging

Annabelle Bond, the climbing world's very own Paris Hilton, has apparently been awarded an O.B.E. for services to mountaineering, or servicing mountaineers, or some such nonsense. I've more or less tolerated her up until now, because I'm an overgrown adolescent and she's a bit of a looker who just invites condescension. My view of her is more or less characterised by Sir Jackie Stewart's comment - a fantastic achievement, never has such an attractive young lady achieved so much on such a precarious endeavor. Normally I'd consider that obscenely patronising male chauvinism, but for our Anna it just seems appropriate.

I've overlooked the the praise she gets for jetting around the world on her private income doing various guided tours up mountains. I've let her get away with claiming she's climbed the 7 highest mountains in the world. (She hasn't, she's climbed the highest peak in each of the seven continents - Kilimanjaro is one thing, K2 is quite another). I've even forgiven her shameless self-promotion, because she raises a stack of cash for cancer research. Oh, sure, if I looked like a cover girl and my Daddy was a bigwig at HSBC I'd be able to screw a few (tax deductable) quid out of the merchant banks, but let's not bite the hand that feeds.

An O.B.E. though? For bravely going where a only few thousand have gone before. Driven solely by her grit, determination, private income, contract with Vogue, a couple of mountain guides and a few hundred sherpas? For being so perfect that her mountaineering socks don't stink? If O.B.E. stood for 'Other Bugger's Efforts', then maybe.

Fortunately I don't have to get too angry that she gets one, and not some 70-year-old woman in Hulme who's taken in 50 odd foster kids over the years. An O.B.E. is a completely useless honour, about as meaningful as an 'exemplary military record' (which just means you never got too pissed in the mess and had a crack at the adjutant's wife). If I was Alan Hinkes (O.B.E.) though, I'd probably be asking for a free upgrade.