This will almost certainly get you laid

Guernsey has more internet users per capita than the United States, a fact that has helped me to have sex at more dinner parties than even knowing which bits of the planet are warming the fastest.

Interestingly, New Zealand seems to be the most wired nation on the planet, in spite their relatively limited broadband access. Perhaps this is because New Zealand is a nation of forward-thinking technocrats boldly embracing 21st century communication technologies? Frankly, it seems doubtful. I can only speculate that there's not much to do in the evenings after a hard day's sheep shearing and porcine terrorising except surf the web.

A Strapping Kiwi. Are you shearing that sheep? No, sod off and get your own.

We in the Developed World like to restrict our internet usage to the working day when the employer is paying for it, which probably skews the figures. At any point between 0900 and 1700 GMT, 67% of the entire British adult population is looking at YouTube.com, but they're doing it on company servers so it doesn't show up on the statistics*. Let's face it, the only reason to pay for Broadband in your own home is to allow you to download videos of Japanese women sticking eels up themselves without alerting the company firewall.

* This 'fact' is pure speculation, by the way. Don't try and use it to impress the blonde girl in accounts. Unless she's really stupid, of course, in which case all bets are on.