My working conditions are out of this world

I've just received an email proudly stating that there will be 'NO HEAT NO AIR - FOR 1 WEEK'*. They're really cracking down on the budget these days - I had just about got used to supplying my own printer paper, but having to bring in my own oxygen bottles seems a little harsh. It makes the department sound like the Martian winter. If I really want the feeling that I'm on another planet, all I need do is engage one of the older faculty members in conversation. However, if I want my imagination to take me further afield (say a different universe or an alternative dimension), then I find that dealing with the payroll department usually does the trick. I've given up reading Kafka for similar reasons - it has become unnecessary.

* Despite the sensationalist tone of the email, it was just a badly-worded memo explaining that the building air-conditioning plant is faulty.